but it does matter...it does matter if we're all alone, because the notion of alone is not from Him, just as fear and confusion are not from Him. it wasn't made "right" until adam had eve, and our hearts are of that same void until we have each other. until we have love. until we have Him. and that is exactly where my heart is running to. i have this mission and being called here wasn't a calling in a sense of an echo that rippled into my heart, but a calling in a sense of a scream, a scream that resonated through the chambers of my heart. i've always wanted to seek Him in a foreign land but because of softball and the traveling i never had the opportunity...until now. i have longed for this life where i can respond to His resonating call and I have found it...this life has brought me to my knees and given light to an entirely new path. the paths i've previously walked down have been infused with storms, but the storms have passed and now it is time to wake...its time to wake to a new sun, in a new land. to go on this trip was clear, was peaceful, and was full of Him saying 'yes', 'yes my daughter its your time, its your time to go. now go'. the people in my life thought me to be crazy leaving a full ride to southern behind with barely a semester behind me, but the decision wasn't my, it was His, it was a decision of life or death. you all will know the full story in time, but after leaving school i didn't go straight home, i went straight into a mental institution. i was there for three months and after graduating in january, i knew i had been reborn. i was alive and living in a way i had never knew before. i had this new life before me and i could not just sit. He rescued me and allowed me to witness these days before me and sitting was not an option. so, i'm standing for Him, at the hands of Him. i'm standing and placing one foot in front of the other, He is guiding me and there is no doubt in my mind this mission is my next step. it was almost a given, like this was naturally what came next. so i will go and go fearlessly, i will go and share the light i saw firsthand, i will go and share the love i felt firsthand, i will go and share this new life i live everyday.