Just to let you all know, this isn’t actually Stephen. It’s Sarah and I couldn’t remember my password 🙂
Training camp is over and we leave for Kenya in 9 1/2 hours, and let me tell you, it has been a week of struggles. When my family got here on Friday, I was almost immediately separated from them while they went on a tour of the facilities and I went to drop my stuff in my cabin and check in. I didn’t see them again until they left, at which point a long 4 days of emotional ups and downs began.
Every evening, we met as a team after worship to get to know each other, and the first night I’m pretty sure I cried through the entire thing. I felt like there was companionship among everyone in my team except for me, and I felt young and unprepared when stacked against this group of college kids who seemed to have it all together. We played the basic game of Get To Know You (where are you from, what are you studying, what’s your favorite ice cream, etc), and prayed. I was still a little lonely, but encouraged by all the laughter shared with my team.
After that first night, we settled into a routine. 6:30 wakeup, 7:00 prayer, 7:30 breakfast, 8:00 quiet time, 9:00 morning session, 12:30 lunch, 1:15 teambuilders, 5:00 free time, 6:00 dinner, 7:00 evening session, 9:00 team time. I know the schedule isn’t of much consequence to any of you, but it was a comfort to me and God really worked through the banality of routine to take away the anxiety I felt after that first night. Saturday we did an activity for teambuilders that eliminated most of the awkwardness left on our team, and it revealed our strengths (encouragement and a laid-back attitude) as well as our weaknesses (communication). That night, a few of us got to share our testimonies and I was incredibly encouraged to find out that one of my teammates was just coming out of a very similar struggle to some of mine. Hearing her speak honestly and frankly about the things that God was bringing her out of made it easier for me to be vulnerable and open with my team about where I come from and what God has done.
Sunday and Monday were pretty routine and not too exciting. I mean, they were exciting, but I can’t recall a specific story from either day to share, except that Monday night, God broke me down. Completely. Tag, the man who has been teaching for us every night, spoke about surrender and how once we leave this camp, we effectively relinquish our expectations and rights. Rights to communication, comfort, privacy, food, everything. And it scared me. It scared me almost to the point of deciding to go home, even though they were all things that I had considered before. But it opened a door for me to communicate my needs with the team, and God surrounded me with comfort using their hands and words and prayers, and in one case, a really warm jacket. Because it is cold and we were outside and I was crying and shivering and I was pathetic enough to the point where one of my teammates was willing to let me wear his jacket.
As depressing as this all probably sounds, God and my team built me up. They prayed over me and encouraged me not to think of myself as young or ignorant, but to be open to the changes and advancements God is going to make in my life through this trip. They all had a kind word to say and I can’t find a way to explain what it all meant to me, other than today I have been all smiles. I can’t wait to leave tomorrow and see where God is going to take our team. Sorry this isn’t so incredibly detailed, God has just done so much in the past few days and I don’t have words to put with everything I’ve learned. I’ve prayed more than I ever have before and I can feel the Spirit preparing me for tomorrow morning.
Grace and peace to all of you! I miss you all and can’t wait to see you at the end of the summer. Keep my team and me in your prayers.
Sarah
PS – Theme scripture for the summer – Psalm 51:10-12. I’ve written it in my journal about 6 times.
